smile like you mean it

There are somethings that guys like me can't understand.. she said she doesn't like guys who smoke, then later on she will have a crush on this guy who smokes. i don't understand man.. I don't smoke, and i believe i am better than that dude.. better in everything. this is crap.. I have been living a happy life since I have found some answers, and some soul searching and stuff.. I realized to myself that she has the right to talk to others and she IS NOT MINE. I want to move on, but why? there is no reason to move on. besides, if I want to move on, it would be hard. I just don't easily do that.. i can't seem to find someone better than her.. for me she is the one. I have accepted the good and the bad in her. Cause no one is perfect, either am I. It's just a matter of acceptance and no regrets in the future. I don't want to hear that.. the line that says: "sana si ganyan or ganyan nalang naging asawa ko, siguro magiging mas masaya pa buhay ko ngayon." that's what my mom used to say.. like everyday! hey mom, how about focusing on what is here and done? BS. no, i'm not fine.. i want my friend.. im sad, and no one knows about it except for whoever is reading this blog, but i will already be fine once this is read so, i'm ok.